We’d been reluctant to return for years—the last time we were there, in 2021, we were in town to clean out our old house after my husband’s death. I hadn’t considered going back until I noticed a new Hampton Bays hotel while working on the last Readers’ Choice Awards. It was nice to see the town named; compared to neighboring places like East Hampton and Amagansett, our little hamlet was decidedly un-glitzy. I’d always clock that it’d be left off maps of the Hamptons that graced the totes bags and sweatshirts of trendy brands. It made me wonder what it would be like to experience our former home as visitors.
Dante and I considered our curiosity. Picking up the thread with new memories could offset any discomfort. It would be healing. We hadn’t been to the beach in ages. Running along the shore had always been an act that grounded us and proved therapeutic, and we also wanted to see what was new in the area.
I’d been curious about Shou Sugi Ban House since it opened in 2018. It has a quiet, decidedly not-kid-friendly atmosphere that seemed suitable for exploring our new time together as adults. Though I had passed this location no doubt one million times en route to the nearby Southampton Jitney stop, it’s so discrete that I’d never noticed it. The barn-inspired buildings have glass walls that look out onto graveled paths, with tall grasses surrounded by evergreen—a microcosm of what makes this area special. We slept in our own beautifully appointed cottages, an indulgence we wouldn’t have allowed ourselves in the past. The added privacy allowed us both to enjoy the deep tubs in our bathrooms—his was modern and egg-shaped while mine was made from Japanese hinoki wood—and nap at our leisure or read without interruption.
This set-up was ideal as we had ample solitude to reset, but also many chances to simply be present together. We experienced the water circuit, replete with infrared sauna and three outdoor pools that I couldn’t have done with him when he was younger—not that it would’ve even caught his interest then. We also enjoyed a sound bath and guided meditations as part of a class of four. Lying in the dark, listening to rain sticks and resonating gongs, I reflected on my former life as a young wife and mom of a little boy, and felt deep gratitude at being able to experience the East End again with my grown son.
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